Shining Light on our Shadows

With Halloween around the corner, it seems apropos to talk about shadows. I’m talking about personal shadows. We all have them. What do I mean by personal shadows? They are those nagging insecurities and habitual thoughts that follow you around wherever you go.

My personal shadow is that little voice of self-doubt that always shows up at the worst time. In fact, she’s sitting next to me right now, as I write this. My shadow is asking me: Do you think anyone will actually read this? Do you think this will make sense to anyone? (Deep breath.) Coach me is saying, “Yes! Can we talk about this later? Can you please take a break and keep quiet until I’m done writing this article?”

Our shadows are an integral part of us. Sometimes they hold us back, but sometimes they serve a hidden purpose. Let’s take my shadow of self-doubt as an example. I like to think of her as my Risk Manager. Her job is to make sure I don’t embarrass myself. There have been many times when she has saved me from saying or doing something stupid. But right now, she’s making me nervous and might prevent me from sharing something that could be helpful to others. If I allow my Risk Manager to stop me from publishing this article, this would be a case where my shadow is holding me back.

So how do I work with my shadow? Let’s take a deeper look at what’s going on behind the scenes here. A few minutes ago, my Risk Manager had me thinking nobody will read this, like this, or even care about what I'm writing. She brought up feelings of insecurity. For me, publishing this article in a newsletter that I am sending out to everyone(!) I know is putting myself out there in a way I never have before. The idea of sharing my personal thoughts and feelings with an audience is making me feel a bit vulnerable. I’m taking a risk and my shadow showed up to help me decide if I want to go through with it. Okay, I can work with this. Right now, I am making a big career change. It’s natural for me to feel unsure of myself at the moment because I am starting something new; but this is a risk that I am willing to take to pursue my dream of starting a coaching practice. In this case, my shadow of self-doubt served a hidden purpose—helping me to reaffirm my commitment to strike out on a new career path. Taking a moment to explore the internal landscape around my shadow helped shift insecurity to confidence.

Do you have a shadow that is following you around and jamming you up somewhere? Try acknowledging your shadow’s presence. Instead of fighting or ignoring it, take an objective look at the thoughts and emotions that your shadow brings to light. Consider what is driving them. I am sure that if you spend some time processing your thoughts and emotions you will be able to navigate your way through it all.